looking to the future...

So, I'm anxiously awaiting the arrival of my hcg!  I checked the tracking number on usps.com and it's in CHICAGO!!  Yay!  That means I should have it tomorrow, right?  It appears to have been shipped directly from Hong Kong to Chicago--which surprised me because I thought it would come through New York or something.  Anyway, the point is, it's almost here and I can't wait!

Now, that seems a little strange considering I'm not even starting until October 4th, but I will feel so relieved to have it here.  It'll be my little security blanket...

I'm reading Dr. Simeon's protocol and this man sounds so compassionate and SMART!  I love reading his words because I feel as though he really understands.  I love this statement (referring to obesity):  "I have always held that overeating is the result of the disorder, not its cause" because the majority of "fat" people that I know actually eat LESS than the majority of "skinny" people I know.  It always amazed me that my overweight friends would have to watch everything they ate and so many skinny people would eat and eat and eat and not gain weight!  I've known of technically obese people that have eaten as little as 600 calories per day and remained overweight-although they were tired all the time and looked gray.  I have known thin people that would eat constantly throughout the day and they had the most amazing energy levels and enthusiasm!

Well, I don't want to keep eating so little and yet gaining weight so easily.  I have only recently (in the past few months) challenged myself to eat and talk about eating in front of people as though I were thin.  It has been quite the experience because people really give you LOOKS!LOL  They really look at me in the way that always caused me to cringe inside and eat as little as possible--even alone (as though they would find out!!).  I have also noted, by the way, that while I'm eating as though I'm thin, I have not gained one pound!  Eating throughout the day--without thinking about it or over-analyzing it--has not caused me to gain weight, but neither has it caused me to lose any.  So, that's why I'm going to do the hcg.  I'm going to lose the weight and then live like I'm skinny for the rest of my days...

I can live with that!