So, I'm finally on my first VLCD day! I started out kind of hungry, but nothing scary. I felt like I often do after eating a lot the night before. But so far, I'm not "ravenous" or anything. I can say that none of the food I ate for the past 2 days sounds appealing to me... I'm kind of psyched about a little chicken and some cabbage for lunch.:) I'm eating an apple and kind of wondering WHY? I mean, I'm not really too hungry and I'm not a big fan of apples, but I want to try it kind of "legalistically" at first, before I start moving food around. Maybe that sounds dumb, but it's how I think!
I actually felt kind of nauseated this morning! In church, for about an hour, I noticed my tummy wasn't feeling well. I thought it could easily be feeling squeamish from all the fat I ate yesterday! But maybe it was the tea I drank on an empty stomach. I don't usually do stuff like that, but again, I wanted to start my day off with tea since that's how it's kind of written. Although Dr. S. says to go ahead and change things around a bit, it's what he first described. I'm SURE I'll be changing it up as the time goes by...I will find what works for me.
I also felt kind of dizzy and "fuzzy" this morning. I thought I could be feeling fuzzy since I might already be releasing toxins. I know that feeling from fasting in the past. (Fasting for spiritual reasons, not dietary reasons.) The dizziness could be from the same thing. Anyway, it was frustrating to be feeling fuzzy-headed because I had to teach Sunday School today... I hope they got something out of it. (I teach the High School class.)
Today, the Youth Group is going to a Corn Maze. Now, I must say I have looked forward to this--even knowing that I will be on this protocol. However, today the logistics of the whole thing are hitting me! For one, I'm realizing that if we're meeting at the church at 2:45, I will have to eat dinner AFTERWARD. They will be having hot dogs and such (which, thankfully, I don't like!) while there, so we will not be home again until pretty late for eating... I mean, I WILL eat then, but I'm sure I'll be hungry before then! Maybe I'll eat my "lunch" closer to 2:PM so I've eaten already and then it won't feel so long between meals. We get home at 7:PM. Now that I think of it, that's only 5 1/2 hours--I'd better get used to that kind of interval!! (For blood-sugar purposes, I usually eat within 4-hour intervals.)
I'm hoping that part of this time will be a little like fasting in that I will be more likely/able to spend some contemplative time with God. When I fast, I find I want to be alone more to process the feelings I'm going through. I want to process the feelings I have during this time, because I know I have a lot of "renewing of my mind" to do. I need to re-train my mind to think appropriately about food.
One thing I've seen already is that I eat a lot out of HABIT!! After church there are snacks sitting around; I have M&Ms in the dishes around here (I will empty those until I'm used to it); I carry gum and candy in my purse (which I need to empty and let my husband carry his own stuff:) and I'm sure there will be other times that I haven't thought of yet!
Another thing I want to overcome is the confusion between REAL HUNGER and EMOTIONAL EATING! Right now, I can tell that my tummy is growling so there is some real hunger, but I know there will be times (perhaps tonight at the Corn Maze?) where I will have some emotional reasons for eating. I have to process those and not just try to get through them! I want to know WHY I have the triggers that I have.
So far, I have noticed a big emotional trigger and it has to do with my relationship with my husband. There are times throughout the day when I ask him a question and he veers off into another direction to avoid answering. He might change the subject, behave in an ADD-like way, or just not answer. This is a trick that I think is somewhat unique to my husband that he can look directly at you as though he IS answering, then walk away as though we got that cleared up. I end up feeling HIGHLY frustrated and "dissed". I need to get a handle on these emotions because my habit in those situations is CLEARLY to eat.:( Counseling on Wednesday will hopefully shed some light there.
It's only 1:PM-early afternoon-at this point, so I may write again later today to report/record how things went then. I really need to set up the vlog thing, but I need my husband's help to learn how to use the camera. I'm having some "technical difficulties" in getting him to show me!:)
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